Note: This post was an old post from when Zee as 9 months old. Coming across this reminded me of what it was like back then and how much she’s changed between then and the currently wise, dictatorial, defiant age of 4.
I should be skinny by now …
… with as much as I’ve been carrying Zee at nights.
In fact, we all should be – or at least those of you dealing with can’t-sleep-unless-I’m-being-held-itis. What happened to your love for the most expensive pacifier a mother could ever afford? Boobies not good enough anymore?
It’s been 3 weeks. Naps are perfectly fine, but come nighttime, all bets are off. Her newest thing is waking up 1-3 hours after falling into a deep sleep (aka being held/walked/swung for 1.5 hours because God forbid I put her down too soon since it would then take double the time to get her back to sleep) and then staying up for 2-3 hours. No crying, of course. Just lots of babbling and trying to pull off my lips and my glasses and MY FAYCE. “No, honey. Momma’s face doesn’t come off. Ouch, love. Didn’t I *just* cut your nails 3 days ago?” Unless I carry her the ENTIRE TIME. And not upright, either.
At one point 2.5 hours into our little late night dance, I busted out the Moby Wrap to try to figure out if I can McGuyver it into safely holding her 20lb self in the cradle hold. Nope. Only time tonight she got pissed at me, too. All this is, of course, in the dark (so as to not break the day/night association and all that). At least the sordid 4 (and 5) month sleep regression didn’t require hours of staying awake at night because the human pacifier would put her back to sleep in less than 15mins.
Oh, well. At least she’s still so damn cute and full of lubs and joy and she’s already growing up too much as it is, I’d really rather she stop trying to crawl towards and climb on top of (or eat) all the electronics in the home all the time and go back to the place where being nursed brought her (and subsequently me) bliss.
250 calories burned per hour carrying 20lb load x 4 hours = 1000 calories burned
20oz breastmilk consumed x 22 calories each = 440 calories burned
So, my question today is, “WHY AM I NOT SKINNY? Whyyyyyyyyyy?”
Thank you for listening to my rant of the day.